So Sunday, May 22nd, 2016 my little boy turns 4. It's a big day and it's very important to him. It's an important day to all of us. It's also the day I am being licensed into ministry. It's something I have known I needed to do as it is the first step to ordination. It's a very important step that will hopefully give me the training, time and experience to be an ordained minister. If you aren't a pastor, it's hard to understand. It really is a big move and the weight of it is hitting me tonight. After taking my final exam for public speaking and doing work on my sermon prep class, the weight of what is taking place finally came down. I'm not even sure I can explain it.
It's extremely humbling to officially be recognized by a body of believers that God has called you into ministry. It is also very intimidating that you're being trusted with preaching the Word and with motivating people to fulfill the Great Commission. It is amazing though, how God has shaped my life for this. I was, and still am in certain instances, very shy. Through my employment in EMS and the fire service, I learned to talk to people of any age, race, creed, color, sex, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, marital status or socioeconomic status. I hate public speaking. Hate. It. At the same time though, I crave to preach and teach the Bible. Some people say I'm good at it, but I honestly am still figuring out what I'm doing. I'm afraid of screwing up, yet at the same time, I know I will, that God's mercies are new every morning, and that what matters is what I do after I fall. Do I stay down like Judas or do I stand up like Peter?
Ultimately though, this is the calling God has placed on my life. I will obey. I will pray however You want me to pray, I will give whatever You want me to give, I will go whenever and wherever You want me to go, no matter what it costs, knowing You are my reward.
